STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
