I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
