so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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