Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
The best revenge is premature balding
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
