Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
