I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Randomize
