I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
