i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
