would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
