That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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