Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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