; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
