I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
