Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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