If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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