i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
