How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
