I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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