Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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