I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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