I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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