I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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