Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
