I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
