I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
