im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
