So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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