why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
they're like a gay fantastic four
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
