Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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