I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
