If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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