guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Do vagina's smell?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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