I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
It's shark week go big or go home
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
