I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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