How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
