This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize