Farmville is her only friend.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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