i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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