I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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