I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize