Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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