WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
