he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
