You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize