Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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