i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
