Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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