No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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