I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
