so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
