You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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