So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize