I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Can I color on your dick again?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Randomize
