Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
