well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
