Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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