So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
