We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
porn star boner night. come get it.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
