Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Walk of Shame today included voting.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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