is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize