he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
