And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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