Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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