There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
