NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize