Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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