Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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